Heero's Will
by Olivia Maxwell
Summary: Heero has just died, but has left behind a strange will. If you've ever heard Dr Demento's Frantics Last Will and Testiment, it takes after that. Enjoy and please review!


Heero's Will

(you must have read my other fic, God and Angel, to know who the character Olivia is)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Gundam Wing characters or their Gundams besides Olivia and hers.

Enjoy

The Gundams and Doctor J are sitting around a table. Heero had just died a few days ago and had left behind a will. Doctor J is about to read it.

"As the person who was lucky enough to teach 01 the skills of combat and piloting, I am honored and empowered to read his last will and testimate." Says Doctor J.

"Well get on with it. The parties start soon." Snaps Duo.

"Oh, poor, dear Heero...WAH!" cries Relena.

"There, there Relena." Milliardo says while patting Relena on the back.

"Oh my God, this is boring..." yawns Olivia, laying her head on the table.

"I never welted for a more wonderful guy." Sobs Relena.

"If we are all seated I shall begin with the reading." Says Doctor J.

"I knew it." Replies Quatre.

Trowa sits in silence pretending not to be there. So does WuFei.

"Hmm, Hmm." Smirks Duo, laughing to himself.

"I, Heero Yuy, Being of soul, mind, and body..." starts Doctor J.

"Now that's a laugh! HA!" laughs Duo.

"...do here by divide up my little material possessions as follows... To my overly emotional, wannabe girlfriend Relena..." continues Doctor J.

"WAH!" balls Relena.

"Relena, he's talking about you." Sighs Milliardo.

"Oh..." says Relena, dumbfounded. (stupid blond)

"Who grubbed with her brother Milliardo. Stalked me everywhere and then cried crocodile tears when I got scratches." Says Doctor J.

"Huh?" questions Relena.

"To Relena I leave something I wanted to give her a long time ago. Relena, I leave you a gun to the head." Says Doctor J.

"A what!?" asks Relena.

::pistol to Relena's head::

Relena falls over dead.

"RELENA!!" yells Milliardo.

"And another one to her butthole brother Milliardo." Finishes Doctor J.

::pistol to Milliardo's head::

Milliardo falls over dead on top of Relena.

"This is bull!!" yells Olivia.

"HA HA HA!" laughs Duo, almost falling out of his seat.

"Ah, but you did love me. And since I am dead and you are dead and I don't need it..." says Doctor J.

Relena just lays in silence.

"... I leave you another gun to the head." Says Doctor J.

::Another gun to Relena's head::

"And another for the butthole." Says Doctor J.

::Another bullet to Milliardo's head::

"Next, to my alcoholic friend, Duo." Starts Doctor J.

"Hey I don't want no bullet to the head!!" yells Duo.

"To dear Duo who needs to get laid really badly..."says Doctor J.

"I'm outta here! Come on Olivia!" says Duo ::he starts to stand up::

"I leave my Gundam and all the money I owned so he can buy all the alcohol he wants." Says Doctor J.

::He sits back down:: "Really?!" says Duo with delite.

"And a boot to the head." Finishes Doctor J.

"Ouch!.... Hey!" yells Duo.

Olivia sits there chuckling.

"Be thankful it wasn't the gun!! Yells Doctor J. Oh, and another bullet to Relena and the butthole."

::Bullets to both Relena and Milliardo::

"Next, to my know-it-all comrade Quatre..." starts Doctor J.

"This is so predictable..." says Quatre.

"...I leave a boot to the head." Says Dcotor J.

"OW! I knew it..." says Quatre.

"And again a bullet for Relena and the butthole." Finishes Doctor J.

::and yet another bullet for them both::

"Now to Trowa and WuFei... Hmm? Where did they go?"

::They flew the coupe. Hmm, smart guys::

"Oh well, skip them. And now to Olivia..." says Doctor J.

"Oh, I don't need anything. I'm good." Says Olivia.

"Who never got in my hair about anything. Who had to put up with her brother Duo, who laughed with me..."says Doctor J.

"Oh, your welcome..." says Olivia, embarrassed. ::blush::

"To Olivia I bequeath, a boot to the head." Says Doctor J.

"OW!!" yells Olivia.

"Why you....!" Yells Duo. ::gets up from his seat with his fist in the air::

"Sit! ::points gun at Duo, who sits back down:: Anyway, oh yes, and again a bullet to Relena and the butthole. Says Dcotor J.

::bullets for them::

"And finally to Doctor J, who has helped me on this will. I leave neither a boot nor a gun to the head, but a rabid Tasmanian devil to be put down his trousers! AHH AHH, and I leave me Gundam to the colonies so they will have something decent to defend themselves with in the future!" yells Doctor J.

"That's it?" asks Quatre.

"That's it...." Says Olivia surprised.

"That's crap!! And I thought I get his Gundam..." says Duo.

"There is one last thing for everyone." Replies Doctor J.

"Cover your heads you guys!" yells Duo.

"I leave a lifetime supply of ammo." Says Doctor J.

"Ammo... huh?" asks Quatre.

"Ammo?! (sounding pleased) That's all?" asks Duo.

"That's all." Says Doctor J.

"Well, for what kind of weapon?" asks Olivia.

"Boot to the head." Says Doctor J.

::Lot's of loud OUCH noises::.... Now that was predictable.

The End (that too)

I hope you liked it! Please review!!


End file.
